LIGHTS, CAMERA...ACTION?

For as long as I can remember movies have been my thing. There were times my mom would catch me talking to myself in the mirror but what she didn't know was I'd actually been rehearsing my monologue for what was sure to be my big break! 

There's something about the idea of being an actor that has always been so memorizing for me. It's not just the glam, but it's the idea of going to another place or stepping into someone else's mind to become more than yourself...I think it's kind of beautiful. The idea of being an actor was always exciting but when it came down to it, always felt too circumstantial. Instead I focused on going down the more traditional route, got a great education and am now working away in corporate America. Which brings me to today..I mean, I'm happy. I've got a stable job, that I like, but am I passionate about it? Honestly, no and I'd be lying if I said I've never thought about how my life could've been different.

My earliest memories of my love of cinema go back to when I was around three or four and my mom signed me up for acting classes.

We'd go to this lady's house somewhere in the Hollywood Hills and she'd give us scripts or monologues to memorize at home and then we'd have to come to the next class ready to rehearse. It might come as a surprise to you but I was rather shy and a HUGE mama's girl as a kid. So much so that while I was in this acting class my mom absolutely had to be there with me, or I wouldn't perform. Anyway, I had the opportunity to go on this audition for a Carl's Junior commercial. Gosh it's actually crazy, I still remember some of the lines! My mom and I show up to the audition, I'm hiding behind her legs and the casting directors ask that I come into the room. Off I go, grasping my mom's hand rather tightly for a four year old, when they stop and say "oh no honey, just you." 

I look back on that moment and what happened next with so much anger towards my four year old self! I cried my eyes out and couldn't say any of the lines. So they told my mom, "bring her back when she's ready to go at it alone," and that was the end of it. Apart of me really wishes my mom would've said, "give us one sec" and then took my ass to the bathroom and popped it! Like come on baby, Sha! This was your shot, or at least it could've been! Who knows what it would've led to. Let's be real, I was a cute kid I definitely could've been cast in that role and everyone would've been so shocked by my "maturity at such a young age," or at least that's what I used to envision them saying about me. 

Fast forward to a few years later, I was in Junior High by this time and my brother and I attended acting classes at the John Robert Powers school and loved every minute of it! I couldn't wait to be called on in class to read lines or recite a monologue I'd written on my own! Gosh it was a dream. Then, every Saturday, my mom would drive hours away from home to take us to auditions. We'd show up with our head shots ready to impress the scouts. Oh and I probably should mention, we also had "stage names," you're looking at THE Tamia Taylor. First of all...WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. Why on earth did I pick that name?! I remember Tamia was the name of a singer that my mom used to jam to in the car. As for Taylor, well I don't know why we picked it that but my brother and I wanted the same last name (his last name is Butler), so we went with the whitest thing we could think of...ugh to be Black kids in Orange County, California back then. 

Once again though, I had the opportunity to go in for what I remember being a pretty big audition, I went in and killed it! However, not too long before this, I'd made the decision to apply to boarding schools and thought realistically, a good high school education was best. For me, growing up in a single parent household, I saw the struggles that my mom went through and she always said that she wanted a different life for me. I knew college and then a professional career was the sure thing. Plus, what was I going to do? Pursue an acting career in small town Georgia?

I'm grateful for my career but every once in a while, when I'm watching a movie or any of the award shows, I can't help but wonder, did i make the wrong decision? 

If I had to pick one thing that I love about New York City, it would be that you can have any job and no one would ever bat an eyelash. I've never, ever felt comfortable talking about the burning desire that I have to be in front of a camera doing what Iove to do best, perform. I know that sounds so, so...idk egotistical maybe? But I love sharing apart of myself with people...ahem, hence this little blog here. When I moved here I told myself that this was something I'd peruse in some way, shape or form so SURPRISE! That's what I've been doing and I'm pretty freaking excited about it! 

I, Sha Janelle Goode, am attempting to break into show biz! I'm still figuring out what direction I want to go in but have been dipping my toe into a few things. I've taken a some Improv classes and am even waiting to hear if I was accepted into a Diversity in Improv program through Magnet Theater. I have a membership to Backstage, where they post tons of open casting calls and auditions every single day. I'm an extra in an upcoming Indie film (I'm not quite sure I can share the project name right now so I will when I can). Then finally, I auditioned for a pilot episode for a show about coworkers competing against each other to see who can find love online..go freaking figure. I'm even in the process of connecting with photographers to take formal head shots as I'm currently using some of the more "professional" pictures that I took for my blog! 

I can't believe that I'm actually doing this! Here I am, four years from thirty, perusing what most would say is a pipe dream where only one in a like a baglillion even "make it." I'm doing this to make sure that when I'm 60 years old I'll never live with an iota of regret. 

I saw this video pop up on my facebook feed a few months ago and that's when I knew I'd give this dream a shot. Who knows, maybe I'll become a star or maybe I'll realize that I love working in front of a computer screen, 40+ hours a week while climbing the corporate ladder. Ha, yeah right! I've got an award with my name on it and I'm ready to claim it! 

-XX

SJG

LIFESTYLESha Janelle